Random Rant:

It’s been a while...

Why is it when you use the self-checkout at the grocery store, can you never leave without having an "unexpected item in bagging area” issue

Never lean up against the bathroom sink at work because you might come out looking like Larry Craig after some enjoyment

Insurance companies suck. You pay premiums out the arse and then when something happens, it’s impossible to get your money

Network TV needs to stop telling me what websites to visit or what ring tones to download when all I want to do is enjoy my half-hour sitcom

If you’re addicted to checking your email when the envelope icon appears on your toolbar, or every 2-3 minutes, that’s bad

Every sporting venue should have armrests between seats; it might help curb the obesity epidemic in this country

iTunes sucks when the song you want for 99 cents is only available if you buy the entire album

The NCAA alcohol policy should be based on the event being held, not the venue where the event is held. Either allow booze, or don’t. (IE beer at Georgetown bball games because they play off campus at the Verizon Center in DC)

Cell phones at work should be placed on vibrate or silent. These two features are highly underrated. No one wants to hear the latest from Linkin Park on your cell.

The National Folk Festival must have great food and beer. I never knew so many RIC’ers loved folk music.

The NHL season has started…did you even notice?

The Office Fax 10.25

“Local Ad”

Dunder Mifflin is undertaking a marketing campaign. When the Scranton branch is asked to participate in a Dunder Mifflin ad, Michael seizes his chance to exhibit his creativity. Meanwhile, Dwight explores the online world of Second Life. Also, could there be a love triangle brewing between Andy, Angela and Schrute? JAM seems happy, and Kelly and Darryl might be connecting on another level.

Tonight it’s back to the half-hour show at 9 on NBC.

Steve Carell is all over the place promoting his new movie Dan in Real Life. He appears on Ellen today, Rachel Ray tomorrow, and was recently interviewed on NPR’s Fresh Air.

NBC12 Updates Graphics

It was only a few weeks ago when WTVR CBS 6 updated its graphics. Yesterday, I noticed WWBT NBC 12 has followed suit. Which is somewhat ironic considering NBC is by far the most-watched news channel in the Metro Richmond area.

If you tune into Gene and Sabrina tonight, you’ll notice new images next to their mugs on the screen, and the fact the story name stays on the bottom of the screen throughout the entire piece. Add in lots of moving graphics and it becomes somewhat overwhelming for the eye.

I’d be remised if I left out the First Warning Doppler team of Tom Patton and Jim Duncan. They also have new graphics for displaying the all-important forecast.

Unlike the nice set upgrade from a few years back, the new graphics just don’t do it. Click here to see for yourself.

Carpoolers

After an exhaust-ive search, I finally found my new show for the fall.

Start your hybrid…

“Carpoolers”

Yep. The show absolutely cracks me up. Will it make me laugh until May? That’s for viewers like you and me to decide. I am a little, actually very worried that it comes on directly after “Cavemen” on Tuesday nights on ABC. And with some of the themes discussed, an 8:30 time slot seems a bit too early.

If you haven’t had the opportunity to take a ride in the HOV lane, "Carpoolers" is based on the everyday lives of four male suburbanites from different working class backgrounds, who take their private lives and issues along for the ride during their daily commute to and from work. For them, Carpooling isn't just a way to get to work in the gridlock of Southern California - it's a way of life.

The carpoolers:
• Jerry O'Connell - Laird: A recently divorced dentist whose ex-wife has taken all of his belongings (execept his absercisor) and who sleeps with as many women as he can.

• Jerry Minor - Aubrey: A black man who looks after his rambunctious seven kids in addition to working while his wife, who is only depicted as a pair of feet, sits in her recliner. His signature catch phrase is "Gentlemen... let's carpool", usually uttered immediately prior to carpooling.

• Fred Goss - Gracen Brooker: A mediator who is married and whose seemingly dimwit adult son, Marmaduke spends his entire day at home in his briefs.

• Tim Peper - Dougie: As the new carpooler, he tries to gain acceptance into the group of men while frequently committing major carpooling faux pas. He is a newlywed who likes to tell the others about the joy of marriage and love.

Go green and check out "Carpoolers" on Tuesday nights, at 8:30 on ABC.

The Office Fax

“Money” 9-10 EST NBC (The final super-sized episode for awhile)

More Jan and Michael is never a bad thing. Tonight’s episode dives into their relationship a bit. Since being terminated by DM, Jan has been renovating the condo, while Michael must confront his growing debt. Looking at all his options, Michael heads to work and pressures his fellow DM employees for a loan. Meanwhile, Pam and Jim leave the hustle and bustle of Scranton to spend a night out on Dwight’s family farm, now a bed and breakfast.

Catch Steve Carell on Letterman tonight!

Timeout: Are CFB Polls Needed?

Pardon my delay of game, but I really don’t understand the point of NCAA College Football polls anymore. The fate of bowl-eligible teams and the eventual national champion is now determined by a computer. With the brilliant invention of the Bowl Championship Series, widely known as the BCS, polls like the USA Today and the Associated Press can now head for the sidelines. There really is no need.

Let’s examine the BS that is preseason rankings (Aug 19). Here are the top 10 teams at the start of the 2007 CFB season:

1. USC
2. LSU
3. West Virginia
4. Texas
5. Michigan
6. Florida
7. Wisconsin
8. Oklahoma
9. Virginia Tech
10. Louisville

Fantastic. Now here are the first BCS computer rankings, released last Sunday, presented by FireFox and iMac.

1. Ohio State
2. South Florida
3. Boston College
4. LSU
5. Oklahoma
6. South Carolina
7. Kentucky
8. Arizona State
9. West Virginia
10. Oregon

A whopping three schools of higher education, well maybe not West Virginia, were spit out by the BCS hard drive. After Michigan lost at home to Appy State in week one, I knew the need for preseason polls had run its course.

People will continue to scream for a playoff, myself included. (God I love the NCAA Basketball Tourney) It might not happen. But before ND’s Charlie Weis, Maryland’s Ralph Fridgen and Kansas’ Mark Mangino have a coronary on the sideline, which could be any day now, scrap the preseason CFB polls.

If a computer generated list released in week six is going to determine the rankings, there really isn’t the need for polls in August.

Seriously...these guys really might croak. (Wies, Fridge and Mangino. From smallest to largest, I think.)

Not Feelin’ FiOS?

Can you view it in HD now? How about now? Maybe Verizon FiOS isn’t everything it’s cracked up to be. The service in RIC is still very scattered and I recently received a FiOS-based rant from a friend in my inbox describing just how bad FiOS HD is:

FiOS is bombing when it comes to HDTV. They are not keeping up with all of the other providers out there, including Comcast and it is causing quite a few to switch. The biggest issue of late is Verizon's refusal to pick up TBS HD while every other provider in the country has, many that you and I have never heard of, which means i am not able to watch playoff baseball in High Definition. They also are not living up to their promises by claiming that since they run over a fiber optic network they will have more room for HD programs in the future and will be able to carry more than your typical cable providers, which is a bunch of BS because there are no plans right now for Verizon to add any additional HD channels and have only added 3 in the past year, which include Lifetime HD, Food Network HD, and HGTV HD. How Exciting! Just thought Iwould fill you in on my extreme dissatisfaction with FiOS now and I may think about switching back to Comcast.

Maybe I shouldn’t pull the plug on Comcast after all…

Life of Ryan

He’s back in Armani black and bearded! Ryan Howard returns to visit his lowly Scranton co-workers. After outmaneuvering several of them to take over a corporate position in NYC, Howard makes a trip from the Big City to the Electric City as a Scranton adversary. His goal: bring Dunder Mifflin into the digital age with the creation of Dunder Mifflin Infinity.

At the same time, many in the office are still carrying a heavy heart, especially Angela. Her cat sprinkles recently passed away and she’s having a hard time dealing with the loss.

It’s another super-sized “Office” at 9EST on NBC.

Tell P Keip what to watch

Nearly all of the new TV shows for the fall have been broadcasted on tube and flat screens across this vast land and on the Internet. The usual suspects (ABC, NBC, CBS, and FOX) all have new shows out. But only the strong – or viewed – will survive. What NEW shows for 2007 deserve a half or full hour of my time before the plug is pulled and “the complete series” comes out on DVD next summer:

K-VILLE
BIG BANG THEORY
CARPOOLERS
LIFE
PUSHING DASIES
PRIVATE PRACTICE
CHUCK
BIONIC WOMAN
JOURNEYMAN
CANE
DIRTY SEXY MONEY

And if I’ve left any new shows out, which I know I have, please fill me in on what to watch!

(Sorry Martin Agency/ABC, Cavemen will be extinct sooner rather than later)